Are you OkAy?
by NerdyJD
Summary: I can hear everything and nothing at the same time. My take on panic attacks
**Saying that it's been a while would be an understatement, I think it's been about a month now? Anyway, I started writing again and I have to say that I've missed it a lot. First off, I'd like to apologise for dumping you with that last (Horrible) authors note, I was emotional and not in control at the moment. Secondly, I want to ask you guys if you'd be willing to recommend any new fanfics that have come out in my absence, I haven't gone through the list and would love to catch up :D**

 **But on to the story, you know that I've been writing these short one-shots at school? This is another. It's based on my experiences with panic attacks, it's a bit hard to put into words so please bear with me if it seems confusing at times (it mostly is)**

There was talking. So, so, so much _talking_. And it wouldn't stop. I could hear the girl behind me flicking her finger, causing her nails to tick like the annoying sound of the clock in front. The boy next to me was violently scribbling down notes and his pen roughly running over the page was unbearable. Then the constant page turning, it wouldn't stop. What were they looking for anyway? And the teacher, repeatedly shouting for the class to be still, only for the partial silence to last for a few seconds before someone purposely sneezed, or coughed, or whispered, or sighed, or _hummed_!

My leg shook with agitation from the girl two desks away, yapping about which colour band would look good in her hair or whether she should wear earrings or not. My fingers tapped the desk because the boy's right in front wouldn't stop giggling. My breathing and heartbeat wouldn't calm down because I could hear everything and nothing at the same time, not even my own thoughts would shut up. Just breathe. Keep breathing, keep breathing…

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

Breathe!

Stay calm – don't cry, whatever you do, .cry

My chest hurts

Don't forget to breathe

Ohmygod I'm dying!

I. Can't. Breathe.

The pain in my chest was so forceful that I couldn't get my mind off of it. I couldn't think straight at all, my eyes were blurry, I couldn't breathe and the worst part was that I couldn't get away from everyone around me. I couldn't move anything. I pushed myself up against the back of the desk and gripped my seat until my knuckles turned a pale white.

"Zane, are you okay?"

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't look at me, don't say my name. I'm fine! Can't you see? Nothing. Is. Wrong.

"Y-Yeah, I-I-I'm fi-fine." I'm such an idiot, how is that even remotely believable? Maybe if I don't look at them, then they'll go away and leave me alone.

Keep breathing

Don't look up

You're fine

Everything's fine!

"You're not fine. Umm, try to calm down – deep breaths." Is that what they're saying? Or is that my mind calming me down? I'm dizzy, and hurting, and I can't fucking breathe! Somethings wrong with me, or am I overreacting? I'm overreacting. Now they're gonna stare and I can't do anything.

I'm going to die.

I can't breathe.

I can't think

 _ **Help me please**_

"Zane, come on buddy, try to breathe. Do it with me."

"I-I-I c-can't – I can't – I–"

 **Umm… hmm… that was something? I do apologise if my writing was not as good as you hoped, I might be a bit rusty. Gosh I sound old… but yeah, that's what goes through my mind before and during a panic attack, most of the time. I didn't continue because I don't really remember (?) what happens when I'm calming down, I usually get too light-headed to think about anything else.**

 **I hope you guys liked that sliver of reading from me, I have another lava one-shot, it's pretty short but I think it's cute. And I'm setting my mind to focus on Slavery! I HAVE to get the next chapter up before our exams start. But that's it, thanks for reading and please don't forget about that fanfic recommendations. If you've decided to take up writing then by all means, leave the title of your story in the reviews and I'll be sure to read it. (Ninjago and We Bare Bears)**

 **Oh My Gosh guys… who of you forgot about Kingdom Come? XD oh my fudge. (I'm practically done with the prologue)**


End file.
